Where Do Babies Come From?
by Brain Chain
Summary: Finnian wants a baby, but doesn't know how to get one. His boyfriend, Bard, and his best friend, MeyRin, may know a bit too much. And of course there's MeyRin and her yaoi. T cause...You know...And mentions of rape. Lots of OOCness, m!preg.
1. Chapter 1

You know when people are like "It's my first fic and bla bla bla so go easy!"? Yeah, just, no. No. This is my first Black Butler fic. Might continue it if people want me too/I get an idea, might not. Whatever. Not the point. Point is, say whatever the fuck you want. I really don't care. I know it sucks. You wanna flame? Flame with pride! I mean, I might hate you and all if it's just pointless, but who cares?

Now ONWARD!

(P.S. most likely extreme OOCness)

* * *

"Sebastian! Sebastian!" the blonde-haired boy jogged over to said Butler, who was currently trying to teach the boy's boyfriend the difference between cooking for 5min at 200F and cooking for 2sec at 5,000F (since Bladroy was raised in America, he preffered the farenheight over the celcius setting).

"Yes, Finny?"

"Where do babies come from?" Bard paused, then raised an eyebrow. _'Does he seriously not know where babies come from? How old is he_ _again?"_

"May I ask why you'd wish to know that?" Sebastian asked.

"Because I want a baby!" Finnian squealed, as if it were nothing at all.

Bard blushed a little and turned around, then replied, "Well... You could always adopt one..."

"No! I want one that mommies have to carry in their tummies and is related to us!" The cook blushed even more.

"W-wait...You said "us"..."

"I know! Wouldn't it be amazing? We could raise our own kid!"

"I think I'll let you explain this one," the black-haired demon said as he put a hand on the red-faced male, "after all, he _is_ your boyfriend. Just remember," his tone had changed from encouraging to mischevious in a matter of seconds as he brought his head closer to the blusher's ear, "anything can happen in this house, even if otherwise impossible," Sebastian whispered, refering to Ceil's child, of whom belonged to two fathers. At that remark Bard's face was as red as a tomato.

"I-I...Uh..."

"Well, I must be seeing The Master now. Good luck." And he was gone into the long, endless stretch of room known as the hallway.

Finny stood there, smile plastered on his face as always while waiting for an answer.

"Uh, ya see, wh-when two people love each other very m-much..."

"Like you and me!"

"Uh...Yea-ah...Like uh...*embarassed cough* you and me..."

"Then what?"

"Uh..."

"Finny!" MeyRin, who had been listening from a distance and currently has a nose bleed, came over.

"You want to know where babies come from, do you?" The gardener nodded.

"I'll tell you, yes I will!" She put her hand against his ear and whispered into it. We can all imagine what was going through the young boy's head, or at least guess from the faces he was making; half creeped-out and half disguested. At one point he even looked like he was going to puke. I guess MeyRin enjoyed going into detail...

"W-why would people do that...?!"

"There's a lot of reasons, one's to make babies. You said you wanted to have a baby, yes you did! Now let's go!" The former assasin had grabbed both their hands and was headed for a bedroom, but they both yanked them back.

"Hey! I never a-agreed ta nothin now!"

"And I changed my mind...!"

"Aww come on now! I got my camera right here all ready!"

"YOU WERE GOING TO FILM US?!" they both screamed at once.

"Yes I was! Then I was gonna send it to Grell and Aloise and all the other people in my yaoi fan club!"

"WHAT?! YOU WERE GOING TO SHOW IT TO OTHER PEOPLE?!"

"That's it!" Bard exclaimed, grabbing the camera out of her hands, "How many picture of us did you _take_?"

"...Six..."

"I guess that's not so bad...But-"

"Hundred...Six-hundred..."

-Insert faces of absolute shock here-

"600 pictures?! Are you insane?!"

"I-I'm sorry! I just-"

"You're not getting this camera back until you learn not to spy on other people just to see them kiss and stuff!" he boasted, hoisting the camera above his head and out of her reach.

"My camera!"

"Bard, maybe we don't have to take away her-"

"Do you want her sharing a print-out of our date to the world?"

"No, but you don't have to get upset!"

"Well I'm not giving it back!"

And so, Finny ended up pulling Bard down to grab the cause of angst out of his hands and hand it back to the sneak.

"Thank you very much Finny! Now why don't we go back to what we were doing?"

"I THOUGHT WE ALREADY SAID NO!"

"Aww...That's no fun..."


	2. Chapter 2

Aaaaaaaand...IT'S CONTINUED! THE CRAPPYNESS CONTINUES! *cheers*

* * *

It'd been very awkward since that scene. The couple hadn't exactly communicated very much since then. MeyRin hadn't shown up to dinner at all. She said she wasn't hungry, but Finny saved part of his dinner anyway, because he's just nice like that. After dinner he went to her room to give her it, and she thanked him, but that was about it. Ceil was too busy to notice, but Sebastian could sense the tension. He waited, though. This wasn't the kind of problem that needed help to fix. Immediately. He'll have a meeting Wednesday. If needed.

Later that night, the awkwardness hadn't died down too much. Even just being in the same room for the boys while trying to fall asleep was a challenge. Or maybe I should say, _especially_ just being in the same room for the boys while trying to fall asleep was a challenge. The girlish boy was starring out the window by his bedside at the full moon, thinking. His mind was elsewhere.

On the other hand, the one that enjoyed blowing things up kept tossing and turning. Why did subconscious's have to be so annoying? It didn't matter. What mattered was that he sure wasn't getting any sleep like this.

"…Finny," he sighed, breaking the silence, "You haven't talked to me since dinner. And that was only to pass the roles."

Finnian didn't respond.

"Look…If it's about what MeyRin said…We don't have to-"

"I know now."

"What?"

"…Back at that place…They thought they could do whatever they wanted to us. There was this one…He…He was the meanest…" Bard knew what he meant. The lab. At the lab, all the subjects were just objects. Their feelings didn't matter. All they were was play things. Toys. And the scientists were children. Not just children, young children that loved to break things. Some of the toys were made for children, unbreakable. Most weren't.

"He'd spit on me and call me names and…other things…At first I thought he was nice, because sometimes he brought me good food. _REAL food, _the kind we eat. He always smiled when he saw me and sometimes even hugged me! (They weren't allowed to do that) He'd cheer me on when I was put in the ring, and sometimes gave me a special drink right before to help. But one night…He…He seemed angrier than usual. I asked him what was wrong. He said it was just stress, then looked at me funny and asked if I'd do him a favor. I said yes…But…but…" he tried his best to choke back the tears while reciting the memory, "he took me to a room…He said it was his office…I-I knew I wasn't supposed to be there, but…he said it was OK…And…A-and…" salty wet trails bled across his face like waterfalls, "H-he locked the door…A-and got closer…I-I didn't like it, so I tried running…but…He said if I didn't cooperate, he'd have me killed…s-so I stood still, and he stuck his hands down my shirt…Then started taking it off…I wasn't really sure what he was doing…But after he took my shirt off he…H-he…" and they boy broke out sobbing.

"Finnian…" Bard ran over and embraced the boy in a hug.

"H-he…"

"It's OK. You don't have to say anymore." Finnian collapsed into his chest, clutching Bard's shirt and staining it wet.

"People…Are cruel…But if you move on…Things can get better…I love you, Finny…What they did to you was …horrible…But I won't let them hurt you again…You're mine forever."

Finny giggled.

"Look, I know I'm not very inspirational-"

"No…It's just funny how I was so sad and how you can make me fell so happy…" There was a small pause, and then, "Can I sleep in your bed tonight, Bard?"

"What? Er…Sure?"


	3. Chapter 3

2 Months Later...

As Sebastian opened the door, a dark figure stepped away from the shadows. He looked to be a male around the age of 20, with golden eyes and jet-black hair in a short pony tail. He appeared European, about 5'9", and bore a white lab coat that drapped around him, completely concealing any other article of clothing.

"Greetings," he spoke in a heavy German accent, "my name is Doctor William Stolfuz. I believe you have requested my services?"

"Indeed. This way please." As the doctor followed Sebastian up the stairs, a teenage girl trudged a long behind him. Her hair was also jet-black, but that's where the similarities between her and the doctor stopped. The tangled mess was matted and oily and it clung to her face as if made of syrup. Her bands were so long that they engulfed her eyes, yet the rest of her hair only went down to her shoulders in an uneven cut. She was fairly small, and quite skinny. Her ribs could easily be seen through her black, shredded shirt. Her arms were shrouded in cuts and scars, as well as her legs.

"May I ask who the young lady is?"

"She's my sister." Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

"Ja.*"

So they made their way toward the group.

Once upstairs, the demon opened a door to reveal Finnian lying in bed with perhaps... a cold (?), MeyRin and Bard beside him.

"What seems to be the problem?"

"Our gardener had been a little ill for quite a while now. I was hoping you could tell us what was wrong."

"Hmm... Alright. I suppose I could give it a try. I'll have to ask all of you to step out of the room though." Each stepped out one-by-one, Bard being the last, and William made one last remark.

"Oh, and it might be a while. Just go have a cup of tea or something."

* * *

*Ja (pronounced "Ya") German for "Yes"


End file.
